I’m finally accepting that I am not gonna have that totally rocking bikini body I was working towards this summer…again.
On account of the fact that I’ve been busy living my life, having fun, and being the awesome friend, lover, sister, daughter and cat mama that I am. Sometimes that means stuffing my face, not working out, being lazy and not stressing over looking a certain way. I’ve also recently tried out two new medications, attended college classes, made new friends and started preparing to move house, so losing weight has taken a back seat, while I focus on other things that contribute towards a good quality of life.
I’ve lost nearly 5 stone in the last year, yes I’ve got more to lose but that’s a pretty awesome achievement so far, and I know I’m getting better at finding a good healthy balance and keeping off everything I’ve lost.
So I’m going on holiday and a couple more festivals soon and I’m gonna wear some minimalist clothing, including some bikini based attire. And I’m gonna dance like fuck, and bits of me are gonna jiggle and bounce. And you can judge and compare and criticise if you like, or you know, you could just look away, or stare in awe at the audacity of this chunky but funky chick with insane dance moves!
Last weekend I went out wearing a very short dress and some awesome fishnets that I’ve had for years but not been able to fit into for a while. It’s the closest thing I’ve had to bare legs in public for literally years! And while I was dancing I was aware of my amazing chunky thighs that help me stomp, wiggle and march places were exposed and wobbling and I felt nothing but fucking empowered and happy! And I got nothing but compliments all evening, confidence is everything!
I’m done stressing over how much space I occupy with my physical body. My health is something I battle for every day and I’m getting really good at looking after my body, and loving and accepting it, is a huge part of that. I never got very far with hating my body, every time I’ve been successful with weight loss it’s been when I’ve come from a place of love and respect for my body rather than self loathing. I still have really bad spells, and mega ups and downs to contend with but compared to this time last year my spirit is well and truly shining, good luck trying to hoist and restrain that in lycra any time soon!