When you tell me how much you love me
All I can hear is how much I hate myself
Because I am unworthy
And I do not deserve nice things
Because I am destructive
And beautiful things should be enjoyed from afar
For those of us who break stuff
Should learn to keep our hands to ourselves
And yet there you are all ablaze
And I am drawn like a moth to a flame
And in the heat of the moment I give in
And give pieces of myself to you
Until the daylight comes and the shine wears off
Not from your ethereal glow
But the cracks in my life begin to show
It highlights my vulnerability
I need darkness to hide the real me.
And like all broken things I cannot
Forget the shadows of my former self
They dance beside me ever present
Waiting, wanting,
To show me up,
to remind me of who I am now,
Of my nothingness,
I grow weary of the mask I wear,
That you claim to love,
And so I stay alone,
Where it is calm and safe.
One day you will fly away,
Give up and leave me for good,
And I will give a knowing nod:
A self fulfilled prophecy.
girlinteracting 